Relationship Check-In
15 questions to run every few months, before anything actually goes wrong.
15 questions · Free
How have you felt about us over the last few months?
One phone between the two of you — the card says whose turn it is.
About Relationship Check-In
Relationship check-in questions are the most boring useful thing on this site. Fifteen questions, run every few months, that catch small problems while they are still small. It is not a game and it is not romantic, but couples who do it are noticeably less surprised by their own relationships.
Sample questions to get you started
- 1How have you felt about us over the last few months?
- 2What has been working well?
- 3What has not been working?
- 4Is there anything you have been holding onto?
- 5Have you felt supported recently?
- 6Have I missed something you needed?
- 7How do you feel about how much time we spend together?
- 8How do you feel about how we handle money at the moment?
- 9Is there anything about the way we argue you want to change?
- 10What has been the hardest thing for you recently?
Show all 15 questions
- 11What do you need more of from me?
- 12What do you need less of?
- 13Is there anything you have been avoiding telling me?
- 14What are you looking forward to about the next few months?
- 15What is one thing each of us will do differently?
Tap the game above to play through all prompts.
How to play Relationship Check-In
- Schedule it — a set evening every two or three months.
- Both answer every question, honestly, including the uncomfortable ones.
- Write down anything that comes up rather than resolving it immediately.
- Finish by each naming one thing you will do differently.
Why couples love this game
Nearly every serious relationship problem was a small, mentionable thing for months before it became a serious problem. A scheduled review creates a moment where mentioning it is normal rather than a confrontation, which is the only real difference between the two outcomes.
Tips to make it more fun
- Do it when things are fine. A check-in during a bad week is just an argument with a structure.
- Half an hour, no longer.
- One concrete change each. Not five.
- Keep the notes and read them at the next check-in.
Frequently asked questions
What is a relationship check-in?
A scheduled conversation — every few months — where you review how the relationship is going before anything is wrong. It is deliberately unromantic and takes about half an hour.
How often should couples do a check-in?
Every two to three months is enough. The point is to catch small things while they are still small, and doing it during a good period is far more useful than doing it during a bad one.
More couple games
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Communication Games for Couples
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The Couples Challenge
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