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Attachment Style Quiz

15 questions about what each of you does when things feel uncertain.

15 questions · Free

1 of 150 pts

What do you do first when you feel distant from me?

Tap the card to play through every prompt.

About Attachment Style Quiz

An attachment style quiz is most useful when it skips the labels. These 15 questions ask what each of you actually does when things feel uncertain — chase, withdraw, go quiet, get practical — which is more useful than a four-letter category and considerably harder to argue with.

Sample questions to get you started

  1. 1What do you do first when you feel distant from me?
  2. 2How do you behave when you are not sure where you stand?
  3. 3Do you seek reassurance or avoid asking for it?
  4. 4What do you do when an argument is unresolved?
  5. 5How do you feel about time apart?
  6. 6What do you assume when I am quiet?
  7. 7How quickly do you need to resolve conflict?
  8. 8What do you do when you are hurt but do not want to say so?
  9. 9How comfortable are you asking for help?
  10. 10What did you do as a child when you were upset?
Show all 15 questions
  1. 11How do you react when someone needs a lot from you?
  2. 12What makes you feel secure in a relationship?
  3. 13What makes you feel unsafe or unsettled?
  4. 14How do you behave in the first weeks of a relationship?
  5. 15What pattern do you notice in how you handle closeness?

Tap the game above to play through all prompts.

How to play Attachment Style Quiz

  1. Both answer all 15 questions about yourself, honestly.
  2. Then guess your partner's answers.
  3. Compare and discuss anything you got wrong.
  4. Name the pattern you notice at the end.

Why couples love this game

The patterns are real even if the labels are crude. Knowing that one of you moves towards conflict and the other moves away explains a great deal about why the same argument keeps happening in the same shape.

Tips to make it more fun

  • Answer about behaviour, not intention.
  • Do not use the results as a label or an excuse.
  • The point is to recognise the pattern, not to diagnose anyone.
  • If something here opens up more than you expected, that is worth taking seriously.

Frequently asked questions

What are attachment styles?

A rough model of how people behave when a close relationship feels uncertain — broadly, whether you move towards the other person or away. The labels are crude but the patterns they describe are real.

Should we use this as a diagnosis?

No. It is a way of recognising a pattern, not a category to hide behind. If something here opens up more than you expected, that is worth talking to someone about properly.

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