Apology Language Quiz
15 questions about what an apology needs to contain to actually work.
15 questions · Free
What does an apology need to include for you to accept it?
Tap the card to play through every prompt.
About Apology Language Quiz
An apology that does not land is worse than none, and couples argue about that more than about the original offence. These 15 questions ask what each of you actually needs from an apology — the words, the timing, the thing that has to happen afterwards.
Sample questions to get you started
- 1What does an apology need to include for you to accept it?
- 2Do you need the words, or the change in behaviour?
- 3How soon after an argument do you want to be approached?
- 4Do you need space first, and how much?
- 5What makes an apology feel insincere to you?
- 6Do you need to hear specifically what they are apologising for?
- 7Do you need them to explain why it happened?
- 8Does an explanation feel like an excuse to you?
- 9Do you need to be asked for forgiveness, or is that too much?
- 10What do you do when you know you are wrong?
Show all 15 questions
- 11How easy do you find it to apologise first?
- 12What is the best apology you have ever received?
- 13What is an apology you never got that still bothers you?
- 14What do you need to feel that something is genuinely finished?
- 15What is the single most important thing for me to know about this?
Tap the game above to play through all prompts.
How to play Apology Language Quiz
- Both answer all 15 questions about yourself.
- Then guess your partner's answers.
- Compare, and write down the two or three things that matter most to each of you.
- Keep that list. It is the useful output.
Why couples love this game
"I said sorry" and "you did not really apologise" is one of the most common deadlocks in any relationship, and it is nearly always a mismatch in what the two people think an apology consists of. Fifteen minutes spent on it saves a genuinely large amount of time later.
Tips to make it more fun
- Do this when nothing is wrong. It is useless mid-argument.
- Be specific about the words you need to hear.
- Timing matters as much as content for a lot of people.
- Keep the list somewhere you will both find it again.
Frequently asked questions
What is an apology language?
What a person actually needs from an apology for it to work — the specific words, the timing, whether an explanation helps or sounds like an excuse. People differ on all four and rarely discuss it.
When should we do this quiz?
When nothing is wrong. Working out what each of you needs from an apology in the middle of an argument is not going to succeed.
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