Marriage Questions Game
15 questions about being married, rather than about getting married.
15 questions · Free
What has marriage turned out to be that you did not expect?
One phone between the two of you — the card says whose turn it is.
About Marriage Questions Game
The marriage questions game is for the long middle — not the engagement, not the wedding, but the decades afterwards that nobody prepares you for. These 15 questions ask what marriage has actually turned out to be, which is a different question from what either of you expected.
Sample questions to get you started
- 1What has marriage turned out to be that you did not expect?
- 2What did you expect that never happened?
- 3What is the hardest part of being married, honestly?
- 4What is the best part that nobody warned you about?
- 5What have you learned about yourself from being married?
- 6What do you think we do better than most couples?
- 7What do we do worse?
- 8What has been the hardest year, and what got us through it?
- 9What do you think keeps a marriage going?
- 10What would you tell a couple getting married tomorrow?
Show all 15 questions
- 11What have you given up, and was it worth it?
- 12What have you gained that you did not anticipate?
- 13What do you want the next stage to look like?
- 14What would you want said about our marriage by someone watching it?
- 15What do you want to be true about us when we are old?
Tap the game above to play through all prompts.
How to play Marriage Questions Game
- Both answer every question.
- Answer about now rather than about the wedding.
- Ask what has changed about that answer in the last five years.
- Half an hour covers the deck.
Why couples love this game
Enormous amounts of attention go into getting married and almost none into being married. Fifteen questions is a small, cheap correction to that imbalance, and the answers change enough over the years to be worth asking more than once.
Tips to make it more fun
- Do it on an anniversary and keep the answers.
- Do not compare your marriage to anyone else's while answering.
- The questions about expectation versus reality are the useful ones.
- Repeat every few years — the answers move a long way.
Frequently asked questions
What are good questions about marriage to ask each other?
Ones about what it has actually turned out to be rather than what either of you expected. The gap between expectation and reality is where most of the interesting answers live.
How often should we ask these?
Every few years, ideally on an anniversary. The answers move a long way over a decade, which is precisely why they are worth revisiting.
More couple games
Questions to Ask Your Spouse
Written for married couples specifically. Past the easy questions, into the ones nobody asks after year five.
Questions to Ask Before Marriage
Money, family, children, conflict, expectations. The conversations worth having before the wedding, not after.
Relationship Check-In
A scheduled review of the relationship. Run it before something goes wrong, not after.
Anniversary Games for Couples
For the evening itself. Fifteen prompts that make an anniversary feel like one.
Questions for Wife and Husband
Both answer every card. About the marriage itself rather than about each other.
The Not So Newlywed Game
For couples with a decade or two of material. Considerably better answers than the newlywed version.