Love Map Questions
15 questions about your partner's inner world, updated for who they are now.
15 questions · Free
What is currently stressing them most?
One phone between the two of you — the card says whose turn it is.
About Love Map Questions
A love map is the mental picture you hold of your partner's inner world — what worries them, what they are hoping for, who is annoying them at work. The idea comes from John Gottman's research on couples, and the useful version is not a quiz about their favourite colour but a check on how out of date your picture has become.
Sample questions to get you started
- 1What is currently stressing them most?
- 2Who is annoying them at work at the moment?
- 3What are they secretly hoping happens this year?
- 4What are they worried about that they have not said?
- 5What are they proud of recently?
- 6Which friend are they closest to right now?
- 7What are they looking forward to?
- 8What is currently their favourite way to spend an evening?
- 9What are they avoiding dealing with?
- 10What would improve their week most?
Show all 15 questions
- 11Who in their family are they finding difficult?
- 12What did they last get genuinely excited about?
- 13What do they want to change about their work?
- 14What are they self-conscious about at the moment?
- 15What do they need from you this month?
Tap the game above to play through all prompts.
How to play Love Map Questions
- One of you answers about the other, out loud, guessing.
- The other says whether it is right, and gives the real answer.
- Score it if you want, but the misses are the point.
- Swap and do the whole thing again.
Why couples love this game
Love maps go stale quietly. You learned who your partner was at some point and stopped updating, and the gap grows without either of you noticing until a conversation reveals it. Fifteen questions is enough to find out how large the gap currently is.
Tips to make it more fun
- Answer about now, not about who they were five years ago.
- Getting one wrong is information, not a failure.
- Repeat once or twice a year.
- The work ones age fastest — start there.
Frequently asked questions
What is a love map?
The mental picture you hold of your partner's inner world — worries, hopes, who is irritating them this week. The term comes from John Gottman's research on what distinguishes couples who stay together.
How do you update your love map?
By asking about the present rather than relying on what you learned years ago. Most of these questions have different answers than they did last year, which is exactly why they are worth asking again.
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